To the Jawa sitting next to me, please clean up your trash. You're on the F train, not Tatooine.

Gawker: Revenge of the Nerds

The first movie I ever saw at the movie theater was The Empire Strikes Back. The fourth movie I ever saw at the movie theater was a reissue of Star Wars so I am aware I might be a little too influenced by these movies when offering descriptions of what I see in my daily life (for the record the second movie I saw, thanks to being forced by my mother, was Ordinary People and the third was The Great Muppet Caper so be on the lookout for Gonzo and Timothy Hutton references at any time). Though what was sitting next to me on the F train yesterday with the black coat and hood pulled up obscuring anything resembling a face, can only be described as a Jawa.

So I am on the F train for a very long ride out to Brooklyn yesterday for a meeting. I actually accepted my normal free AM New York as well as The Metro because I knew I would have time to finish both. The train is not too crowded and there are plenty of seats as we reach the West 4th Street stop and this is where the Jawa enters the train. I am not anti-Jawa so I do not think twice when the Jawa plops down right next to me even though there are plenty of open seats. Well apparently the Jawa, not being in its natural arid climate of the desert of Tatooine, has been set off on a sneezing and coughing fit. I can handle a sneeze or cough here and there, but the constant excreting of human (or jawa) vapors into a little tissue one foot away from me drives me to a breaking point after a few minutes. I will never understand why people that are obviously very ill enter a subway where they know they are going to infect everyone else on the train.

At this point I want to get up and move but there is a part of me that thinks that is rude. Is this rude? If I stand up and move they will know I moved because of them. I think that to myself all the time when people suddenly move that were sitting next to me. I start wondering if there is something on my face, or maybe I stink and I just don't know it. It can be quite distressing and I did not want to offend this little visitor to our world. Though by the time we arrived at the Delancey street stop I have scrambled to the seats across from me. The Jawa finally exits the train at Bergen street in Brooklyn but not before leaving a present for the rest of the train:


Yes there it is, the bio hazard that was the tissue was left on the train as some sort of seed to help spread whatever it was the Jawa was selling. Seriously, that is terrible. And at the next stop, Carroll Street, an unsuspecting soul sat down right on this morsel before I could even try to warn them. I can't help but get strong feelings when I see someone blatantly litter a piece of bio hazardous material right in front of me, but in a situation like this I always think back to what Judd Hirsch's character 'Dr. Berger' from Ordinary People said when he sums it up "A little advice about feelings kiddo; don't expect it always to tickle."